your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
