grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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