they need to just BURY HIM!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
