they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Let's paint friendship bongs
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
