I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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