I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
