And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
