I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
