So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
