i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
