you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
