Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
