Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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