that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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