My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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