I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
