i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
