im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
