i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
