3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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