i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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