We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
and you fell through a lawn chair
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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