You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
