so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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