it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
