Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
