I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
