everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
