How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
