"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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