He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
