You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
