it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
