My nipple is on Facebook.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
