Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
