On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
