Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
