i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
