if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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