Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
