You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
