all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
