Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
