im about as happy as oj after his trial
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
