I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
