It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
