Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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