you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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