i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
