You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
not ubering you a puppy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
