I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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