i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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