His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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